I just wanna go home!!!

Well, its now the middle of June and I STILL don't have any idea when I'll be going back to the states. I was orginally supposed to go back at the end of this month, but I still haven't heard anything. Its driving me nuts. My life is like at a stand still really. I can't really start doing anything here, cause I might be leaving within the next couple weeks, and I can't do anything about anythign in the states cause I have no idea when I'll actually be there. I am wanting to take fall classes but I will never get back in time for finaical aid or even get registered...I just love the military..hurry up and wait...or just do nothing...Such a pain. I haven't even scrapped anything lately because I dont' want to get to much stuff, its a hassle to send it all back to the states, but I'm starting to go nuts cause I dont' really have anything to do. I just wanna go home!!!!!!

"Its not who you are that holds you back - but who you think your not." ~ Unknown

"Friends"

*Please note-this is a HUGE rant*

Friends...wow, where should I even start. Friends are supposed to be people that you can trust, people that you can count on. However, apparently my opionion of friendship is slightly different than others. Now don't get me wrong, I am not by any means a perfect person, nor a perfect friend. There are times when yes I've been self-centered, and a bit selfish. But when it comes down to it, I will fight for anyone that I considered a friend. Would always have their back, stand up for them when others turn on them. But yet, it seems like I am always getting walked over. Taken for granted, really stabbed in the back. As I look back on my life, all the "friends" I've had, I realized that the only reason any of these people were supposedly my friends was that it benefited them in some way. But you know, I could go on about the people that made my life hell as supposed friends. So why a post about this, something had to set me off right? Well give yourself a cookie.

What kind of friend goes and decides one of your daughters biggest events and doesn't even bother to ask you if you want it done, doesn't clue you in that she wants it planned, just goes and decides with your ex-husband that they're going to do it. And then only to find out less than 2 days before hand that I'm invited???? (and not even from her, heard it from him as he was walking away)Seriously, thanks for INVITING ME to MY daughters rite of passages. And then my ex-husband has the nerve to get mad that I said no about it. Not to mention that this friend hasn't called or spoke to me in over 2 months. At first I wasn't really bothered, we both are really busy, she's a lifeguard and summers' about to start so she's been working really long hours getting things ready, and I work my own job and have other responsibilities. But then I find that she's got plenty of time to make for him. Oh not to mention when I found out that she told him when they talk, not to tell me. Hmm, if that's not in TOTAL violation of the "friend rule", I don't know what is...They've been talking and going out doing whatever they feel like. But apparently I must have been a terrible friend, oh wait that's probably because unlike my ex-husband I don't bow down and kiss the ground she walks on. He wonders why I wanted divorced, shit he never treated me like he treats her. She calls and asks for something and off he goes like a dog chasing a bone. Drops everything he's doing and rushes off to help her. And then tries to tell me he doesn't have feelings for her...yeah okay, right. I dont' know maybe because I don't let her control me, and because I don't listen to everything she says or don't let her try to run my life anymore, I'm not a good friend. I might not be a perfect friend, but I don't try to take over other people's lives, and make decisions regarding their children's lives. I just love the way people who have no kids (like her) try to tell me the best way to raise my children. I am so beyond pissed with her right now, I can't even gather my thoughts in a clear enough manner to type all this out. This is the reason I don't trust people, why I do not like to let people into my personal life. Every person I've trusted has screwed me over in one way shape or form. I don't even know why I bother. So I'm done with this...going to try to vent out my frustions in another form, cause my brain is not focusing at all...so here's my usual end with a quote:

"When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it." ~Bernard Bailey.

Baby Blue Eyes

Is that not the cutest picture ever? I took my kids to the playground this weekend and while we were there, there was a gentleman there with his kids (he was smart enough to actually remember his camera). When my daughter turned and looked at him, he was amazed by her beautiful eyes. He asked if it was alright to take some pictures so I said sure. After talking to him a bit, he said he was a photographer, and just starting a business. I was really pleased with they way it turned out. Think I'm going to have him do some family pictures. It has been so long since I've had any taken. But just wanted to share this picture. Got work I've gotta do now :(

"While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about"

~Angela Schwinctin

My Birthday Weekend

Okay, so this past Friday we celebrated my birthday at Western World. It was a blast. The bartenders actually bought me a cake and one of my friends, Adam got on the mic and everyone sang happy birthday. I don't even remember the last time I really had a cake for my birthday, lol. And so much dancing this weekend, I think I danced just about every song that played and with just about everyone there. I was so tired on Saturday. And I got to fly the flag when we played the song Proud to be an American. Its our weekly tradition. One person stands in the center of the dance floor and waves the flag and everyone kneels in a circle around them, arms around each other. This is probably the second best birthday...the best was my 21st when my grandparents took me to Tunica to go gambling. I also (just in time for my birthday!) recived the new Club Scrap kit for April and HOLY COW....its AMAZING!!!!! The colors are just out of this world. I even actually did a 2 page layout yesterday when I got home. I ended up doing total of 3 layouts and it was so much fun. The stuff was awesome. Hmm..I gotta get back to work now, how fun (*rolling eyes*)

~You can only be young once, but you can always be immature~Dave Berry

Where did March go?

Seriously...March is already almost over. Where did it go? I can't believe its almost April...less than 2 weeks till my birthday. I feel like I'm getting so old. Yeah I know I'll only be 24, but I swear it was just the other day I turned 21. The last 3 years have FLOWN! I can't believe I've already been in Okinawa over 2 years, and now its almost time to leave. When I first got here, I couldn't wait to go home, but now...this IS home and I really dont' want to go. And as I keep getting older, I'm trying to figure out where my life is going. Most of my friends from HS have degrees and great jobs (not that myjob isn't great..it is) but I dont even have an associates. I have taken some classes, but I should have at least gotten my bachelors. I really need to get a move on, figure out where in life I want to go. I have even considered joining the miltary. Definately not the Marines, no way would I ever be able to hack it, but I'm thinking the AirForce. I've really been seriously considering it. I want something where I can travel, I want to see things. There are so many places that I really want to go, but I wonder if I'll ever get the chance. Course, having kids will make it a little difficult, but looking back at my life, I don't think I"ve ever just choosen the "easy path". I have always done what I felt like, no matter who said I couldn't or whatever obstacles have been hurdled in front of me. Even things that I thought there was no way I would be able to handle it, I did. I moved on, and am a much stronger person because of it. But then there are times when I wonder if I am too selfish of a person. Is it wrong for me to want so much out of life, when I already have great things and people in it? Is it wrong for me to want to drag my children all over the world because I want to travel? Shouldn't they have the same stable environment that I grew up in...a real place to actually call home. Not that the military life ever gives them that real security now. Every three years you PCS, unless you get extended. One things for sure, I'm not getting any younger and I need to make some decisions. And I need to find some time to get my assignments done over at the School of Scrap...I was on a roll earlier this month, what happend?????

To end as usual with a quote
"As you grow older you find the only things you regret are the things you didn't do"
~ Zachery Scott

Join us at the School of Scrap

I've added a link at the bottom of my page for the School of Scrap. Its a fun and innovative school for those of us addicted to scrapping. There are all sorts of classes: math, literature, history, design, music and many more. Come join us for some great inspiration and fun. Its the school no one ever wants to leave!

Live, Laugh, Love...Scrap!

My oh my what a weekend. I went to my very first crop-a-thon on Saturday. It was so much fun. Won a few neat prizes and had lots of goodies to take home with me. Got about 4 pages done. I was happy with all of them but one. The one page I just could not get to work how I wanted. I still don't like it. But it was a really fun day nonetheless. As soon as I upload the pictures of my LO's I'll add them on here. It was really nice to be able to get out and spend the whole day doing nothing but scrapping and nothing else to worry about. Just getting out of the house was a really nice change. Then of course I went out on Saturday night to Western World. My legs are so sore from all the dancing. They had a camera crew there this weekend, apparently they are doing something on the Japanese TV and we're all going to be in the commercial. The downside to that was that the place was WAY overcrowded...I don't remember the last time I saw so many people on that dance floor. During one dance, I think i hit like 5 people in the head. But it was a really fun night anyways. I am still trying to figure out this weather...Saturday was really nice, the sun actually even came out for a bit, but by 1800 it was freezing again. And all day Sunday and today it was freakin cold!!! Its mid-March..what is going on???

"We worry what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget he is someone today"~Unknown